Dear Paula,
I don't known what to do. My partner is not talking to me and this has been going on for a week. This was over us not going out last weekend "you never take me anywhere."

When I said come on let's go, he decided to stay in. He is currently not working and I am doing two part time jobs. He expects me to sit in the house and do nothing just to keep him company, but also wants the same lifestyle as when he was working. I'm told I don't support him and that I think more of my family. We have been together a few years and he has always been moody but I am coming to the end of my tether and don't think I can take anymore. It's alright for him to go out with his mates but he erupts and sulks if I mention going out alone. In the past he has been unfaithful, flirting on the mobile with my friend and I'm pretty sure he has slept with one other person. Please advise.

Dear Paula writes:
It's very difficult living with a sulker. Sulking is a very immature form of behaviour and is classed as "passive aggressive", ie it's an aggressive way to behave in that it's designed to make you suffer but not in an overt way such as shouting or hitting.

It's damaging nonetheless and I don't blame you for being fed-up with it. His behaviour sounds very unreasonable and it may be that he feels diminished by the fact that he isn't working and is taking it out on you which is very unfair.
I think you should ignore his sulking and go out without him if he doesn't want to come with you. Just explain to him very reasonably adult to adult that you want to go out, it would be nice (hopefully!) if he came with you but failing that, you are going out by yourself. He can then take it or leave it but if you can ignore his sulks, it may become clear to him that he's really the one who's suffering as he's the one staying in being miserable.

As for his double standards (ok for him to go out with his mates), no grown up person should be running that racket. If you're an extremely kind and forgiving type and want to work at making things better, you could try reading up on Transactional Analysis. It looks at the three different modes of communication people use (parent, child and adult) and how these can lead to misunderstandings when they're mismatched.

Your partner seems to be largely functioning in child mode. If he can't take responsibility for life as an adult and change his behaviour, send him back to the stone age where he belongs and get on with your life. It sounds as though you'll have an easier time without him.