Dear Paula,
I split with my ex six months ago and we have a son together. We both had our faults and in the end it was too much for us to survive. I have come to terms with that but what I can't get over is his treatment of our little boy.

He is nearly 10 months old and since the day he was born his father showed no interest in him or our family. After we split he made very little effort to see his son, making excuses to avoid it at every opportunity. He hadn't seen his son in two months before last weekend, when I agreed to let him have one last chance to bond with him.He has a new partner whom he met just a few weeks after we ended and has moved on, dropping our family like it meant nothing and making me feel like we didn't matter. I feel so angry towards him and hate what he has done to us. I can't bear to be around him but I have to for the sake of my son. I just keep waiting for him to screw it up and let us down again. I really don't think I can take much more of this as I'm constantly waiting for him to hurt us again.

As a result of this I now can't trust men. He has put me off having more children as I don't think I could cope as a single mother to two children. One is hard enough and I can't see myself letting another man close enough because I don't want to go through this pain again.

Dear Paula writes:
Being a father is a privilege and one that your son's father clearly doesn't deserve. Do you really want him growing up to experience the kind of anger and disappointment you are feeling right now? You say that your ex has moved on and maybe you should do the same.

It doesn't sound as though this man is ever going to be the kind of father you want for your child. You say you have to be around him for the sake of your son, but maybe for the sake of your son, you should be moving on. Think about what it will be like for him to get to know a father who shows little interest in him and who may constantly disappoint him.

He will also be growing up picking up on how you feel and you surely don't want him to be torn between the two of you. You also need to consider the emotional toll it will take on you, having to cope with being in contact with your ex and knowing about his other relationships.

Don't let this one deadbeat put you off the idea of being in a relationship again. Men are not all rotten and you may find someone who will act like a real father to your son. It does happen. I think you should give yourself and your son a chance by leaving this man behind and looking for a happier future for both of you. Why chance having your son's feelings messed about with, simply for the sake of having contact with the man who fathered him when he's not interested in acting like a father?