Dear John,

I am madly in love with my boyfriend of almost three years. My problem, however, is that I can't stop flirting with other men! My partner is becoming more and more paranoid about this, and I know that women have hurt him in the past. In other words, he's very insecure. I can't stop flirting, but I also want to fix things for him! What can I do?Dear John writes:

What do you mean, you can't stop flirting? Are you Nancy from Oliver Twist? Do you have a part-time job on Babecast, or as an internet chat-bot? Because, frankly, I've never heard such rubbish.

Of course you can stop flirting. This is because you are a human being, and have control over your actions. You just don't want to because a) it's fun and b) you like the attention that it brings.

Having said that, having fun and enjoying attention are not a bad thing. And I love a good flirt from time to time too. However, when I wink at Rita on the Somerfield checkout, it doesn't mean that I want to bend her backwards over her weighing scales and make her scream in ecstasy about the special offers. I'm sure you feel the same way about the vast majority of the men you talk to, but if your boyfriend's as damaged as he sounds then he's not going to understand your reasoning. And, if you really care about him, then you'll have to knock it on the head.

It's a simple case of mind over matter after all. But you may want to think about why you like flirting so much. Is your partner not giving you enough attention or affection? Because, if that's the case, then you need to have a gentle word with him. Doing so may solve both parts of your problem entirely.

Alternatively, you can flirt with other men all you like - but at least wait 'til he's not there!

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