Dear John,

I have worked in a male dominated office for many years and really enjoy the banter. We have a great laugh whilst being professional and getting the job done.

However, after a restructure a new accountant was employed. At first we worked well, but I now feel there is a real power struggle. He is slowly trying to take responsibilities away from me, as he doesn't have enough work to do; he doesn't do anything properly and then passes the buck; he's always moaning and saying he's overworked, so much so that his boss actually believes him! I offered to do extra hours to help, and got no response. I am stewing all the time about this. How can I sort this out once and for all? I have tried talking to him directly without any joy, and there would be no point going to his boss because he would just side with him.

The whole dept has issues with this bloke. How can I get the boss to listen without it sounding like a witch hunt?

Dear John writes:

Have you ever read Who Moved My Cheese? It's a book all about how to deal with difficult matters in your workplace, with the underlying message being that if things change then you should change with them rather than resist and try to go back to how they were before.

However, the amount of co-workers I have killed in my head makes quite the body count. Really. Entire populations have fallen. So it goes without saying that I disagree with the concept of the book entirely, as I do not believe that bosses / colleagues should be able to do whatever they want to make our lives miserable while expecting us to just run around adapting and being positive and keeping our traps shut.

It's very tempting to start being sick in people's bins and writing crude messages about them up the toilet walls when you feel that somebody needs taking down a peg or two, or exposing as the chump they are. However, if there's one thing I've learned about how to make a point where a colleague's concerned, it's all about the two magic words - "paper trail".

Follow up every verbal conversation with him with an email confirming what he's said. Better still, keep everything in print only. This means that, when he tries to pass the buck, you can print out reams upon reams of evidence of what he said at the time and how the situation is all down to his haplessness. Get all your colleagues to do the same and you'll be able to paint a damning portrait of him come appraisal time. It might not be much fun, and it might take some time, but it's the only way you can do it without looking petulant and tarnishing your own reputation.

In the meantime, don't invite him out for drinks. And if you get him in this year's Secret Santa, donate the fiver you'd be spending on him to a donkey sanctuary and give him the certificate. His face will make you feel as though you've had your revenge a million times over.

Next question: Should I believe my new boyfriend?