Dear John,

I moved to a different part of the country five years ago. Shortly afterwards, my mother developed breast cancer and I still feel guilty that I wasn't there for her as much as I could have been. Recently I've found myself in a doomed relationship, and now my mother's cancer has returned. Should I move back to be near her or do I stay where I am? I have a teenage daughter in her last year at school and don't want to drag her out, but I don't want to let my mother down again. Please help!

Dear John writes:

To be honest, I don't really think you should be worried about your conscience. I think you should be worried about your mother. And, if I were you, and if she didn't have anybody else, I'd be on the first train up.I know that you don't want to pull your teenage daughter out of school when she's got exams coming up, but that doesn't mean she'll automatically screw up her education. And although teenage girls are possibly the most unbearably selfish creatures on earth, she's old enough to understand just how serious an illness breast cancer is. If she resents you for wanting to move, then she's not just being unsympathetic, she's being monstrously thick and deserves to go ten rounds with the business end of your bad temper.

This may sound sharp. But, if the second worst thing happens and your daughter fails her exams, she'll have the chance to re-sit them. Your mum, meanwhile, might not get the opportunity to repeat her treatment.

Of course, it goes without saying that I wish her a full and speedy recovery. However, while she's battling to get past it, she'll be very happy to have you – and her granddaughter – close at hand.